And Something to Make Me Happy

New black shoes in the blinding sunlight of Vegas.  Notice the sheer instep.  I’m going to use these delicate things to kick some literary butt.

 

Pieces out: 40!

Goal: 40!  Woo hoo!

Curse You, Exuberant Nature!

I don’t like to wait.  I mean, I can be patient when I have to be.  I don’t hound editors with “How long are you planning on keeping my submission, eh, buddy?” emails.  I’m patient with my kids.  I don’t get unruly in lines.  But if I have a choice, I’d like everything to fly by at warp speed.  I wrote a novel!  I’m ready to query!  Let’s get agented and get this thing out, fast fast!

So.  Not.  The.  Case.  I’m learning that I need to change my mindset.  Instead of feeling like I need to query in order to “earn” the privilege of writing, I need to figure out how to query while I write new stuff.   It’s like earning the right to see the sun, and that’s just…stupid.  Besides, as much as I want everything to -Bam!- happen immediately, I really do have the rest of my life to work on this.  Breathe, Self.  Breathe.

Arg, I’m so new.  I make so many mistakes. I accept it, I accept it, I accept it. 

 

Pieces out: 39

Goal: 40

A Random Picture of My Cookie Plate

I have a mean sugar addiction, can you tell?  Totally hopped up today!  I accomplished a lot, and I mean a lot.  Which…might never happen again.   I printed queries and labels and everything is shiny and professional…until I ran out of ink.

Typical.

 

Pieces out: 38

Goal: 40

A Melodramatic Farewell

 

Most of you know that I majored in Sociology, so social experimentation is de rigeur.  I realized something both funny and disconcerting, and that is this:  When I put up that picture of me wearing my red lipstick, my hits jumped by a gazillion percent.  Seriously.  There’s a site called Alphainventions (www.alphainventions.com) that scrolls random blogs, and people can click any blog that they want to see.  With the picture up, my hits increased by over 300%.  I felt dorky and took it down, and they dropped back to normal.  But then I remembered that my New Year’s Resolution this year was to “Be More Confident”, so I put it back up.  My hits increased over 600% in the next day.  This is my conclusion:

People click on pictures of girls.  Pictures of my kitchen: not so much, even though it’s the best kitchen in the world!  And if they’re coming to this site looking for porn, they’re going to be severely disappointed.  Sorry, friends.  Sucks to be you!

Speaking of sucking, I finally dug down and worked on those queries like crazy.  Painstakingly researched, polished, formatted correctly.  A few agents only take postal mail, and a few only take online forms or email.  I created an abbreviated synopsis, and a detailed synopsis.  I wrote up a bio and did everything that every agent asked.  I took things to my critique group (Long live the RPG Illiterati!  We’re the coolest of the cool!)  and read them aloud to my patient husband.  I cried tears of milk and smiled honey.  And I ask you, what more can I do?

I can not screw it up, that’s what I could have done.

Last night (I realize it’s 4:30 am right now, so really, this was only a few hours ago) I decided that I was awake and alert enough to send some of the email queries.  I gathered everything together for that particular agent, looked it over, looked it over again, pasted it into the body of the email, spell checked, and then sent it off.  Goodbye, query!  Farewell, love!  I send you off with prayers and kisses and…wait, wait.  Spell check doesn’t check the subject of the email!  Do not tell me that I just misspelled “Submission” in a haze of weariness!  I didn’t!  I didn’t!  I DID!

So somewhere there is an agent that will see “Submisson: RunStarGirl: A Novel of Murder and Whimsy”.  And this agent will think, “This poor, illiterate soul.  What can she possibly have to offer?” and will delete my email promptly.  As s/he should, because seriously.  Arg, what a stupid mistake!  Because who wants to represent somebody that most likely counts by stomping her foot on the ground?

Know this, dear agent-who-shall-not-be-mine:  we would have worked so well together.  I dig the books that you represent, and really, how many authors can honestly say that?  Pardon me while I mourn.

Oh, yeah, and I received five rejections today.  And our bathroom has water damage.  And I don’t have any dashing girlie photos to put up, so here’s a picture of some butter cookie dough that I made last week.  Rock on!

 

Pieces out: 38

Goal:  Um…40?

“Are You Alive?”

Kinda.  It’s like that old U2 song, and I’m running to stand still.  That’s all right, because life is a challenge, and I can hack it.  I just wanted to pop in and update.

Still alive!  Still working hard.  I literally have not had more than five minutes to myself all day, which means that I’m distracted and have zero focus, but tomorrow may be better.

 

Pieces out: 44

Goal: 40

Second Place!

I just crawled out of a migraine-induced haze to find out that I placed second in the On The Premises contest!  Hooray!  Everybody thinks that I’m kidding, but I really am using the money to buy a sewing machine.  Awesome!  It’s a story that I really enjoyed writing, and I’ll proudly link you when it’s up.

Today I also bought bowls that won’t explode, so all is well on that front.  I am all set to make Valentine’s treats.

 

Pieces out: 47

Goal: 40

This Is Why I Write.

 

If I didn’t write, I might spend more time in the kitchen.  And as we can all see…that wouldn’t be such a great idea.

These are my marshmallows!  And the bowl exploded!  And after the hysterical laughter died down, I had the job of cleaning up marshmallowy glass.  I’ll try again later with a bowl that won’t try to kill me.

I polished “The Container of Sorrows” and I think it’s ready to go out.  I had to put a lot of things on hold last week because I had crushing amount of Real Life stuff to do. This week isn’t much better, but my ultimate goal is to get those darn queries out so that I can focus on something else. I’m dying to get back to my demon story.  I’m going insane with this other stuff!  All I want to do is write.  The rest of it is sucking my will to live.

So I have an essay in the Cup of Comfort for Parents of Children with Special Needs book that’s due out this May.  They sent an email the other day saying that if the authors wanted to set up promotional events (readings, book signings, television and newspaper interviews, etc.) that they would compensate us for it.  My first instinct was to ignore the whole thing completely.  How terrifying!  How foreign!  Now I’m thinking that I need to learn how to promote anyway,  and it would give me a chance to talk about my son’s syndrome.  This is frightening, though.  Interviews? Are you freakin’ kidding me?  Then again, the resolution was to be more confident, so.  We’ll see.  Arg.

 

Pieces out:  47

Goal: Die, queries, die!!!

Karma? And Are Agents Like Soulmates?

I just said how it was softly sunshiny here, and then it promptly started to rain for two days.  The streets are flooded.  So Jeremy, the Illiterati, and the other townsfolk of Sin City, I take full responsibility.  The rain is all my fault.

That said, I’m not sorry.  I love the rain.  So haha!

Queries.  Queries queries queries.  It’s difficult because you want to find an agent that you’d work well with, but how can you really tell?  I have a small handful that I think would be gold.  Being the monogamist sort, it’s strange to query a bunch of strangers saying, “I chose you specifically because…” when they’re not the only one that I have queried.  On the other hand, they expect that.  I think the perfect agent is like your soulmate: s/he doesn’t exist.  I mean, I don’t think there is just one.  In fact, I reject that idea flat out.  How romantic to think that there is one and only one person in the world who is your other half, who makes you whole.  But realistically?  If that was the case, my soul mate would be the Sylar of the universe and I’d be screwed after they threw the switch on him.  If my soulmate is a complete jerk (or vice versa, but that would never be, right?!) then why should I be punished?  What if your soulmate is married?  Lives on the other side of the world?  Is in a coma for the rest of their lives?  Are you therefore denied happiness?  I don’t buy it.

So back to agents.  There isn’t one agent that can completely fulfill me, that would make me drop hearth and home so that I could sit at his or her feet and weep tears of gratitude.  There are several agents with different skills and personalities, and we’ll like each other and work well together and make each other happy.  I write fast.  I write a lot.  I take writing seriously (but not too seriously) and I have a long career ahead of me.  I truly believe this agent thing will work out if I put my shoulder to the wheel.  Such an optimist. 

Strange google searches that I’ve done in the last few days:  flowers in Japan, anemia lip color, dress a day, shurikens, analemma definition, homemade marshmallows.  That last one had nothing to do with writing, but they look delicious!  I’m also making hot chocolate from scratch.  Told you that I love the rain!

 

Pieces out: 46

Goal: 40!

Content with Some

I realize that most of the world is living in a land of ice and snow.  I, however, am not.  Today I took my kids outside and we frolicked around for a little bit.  For once, the sun was kind.  I took a picture of the lavender, which smelled particularly delightful.  I’m sorry to say that my star jasmine has died, and it shall be greatly mourned.  It’s just one more loss.  It’s one more thing missing from my life.  On the other hand, plants yearn to grow, and I shall replant it.

Today was a day of phone calls and general unhappiness.  I had the computer up, but didn’t get the chance to work on Iris as I had hoped.  But I have found a way to be kind: I’ll write a few lines.  Just a few, a snatch of conversation here or there (Joshua doesn’t have a lot to say, but when he chooses to speak, it’s quite interesting) or a line about the way that Celia taps her bare foot to a beat that nobody else can hear.  It doesn’t have to be very much, but it’s some, and I am learning that sometimes I simply need to be content with some.

Thanks to everybody who takes the time to comment either on my posts or especially on my stories.  It’s a bit of extra effort, I know, and it’s greatly appreciated.  It makes me happy.

 

Pieces out:  45

Goal: 40!  Rock on!

Micro 100

So! I pulled that story because I realized that the magazine was requesting crazy rights.  I entered the story in the On The Premises contest  because when I first read the contest theme, I was like, “You know what story would be perfect for that?!”  I received an email saying that it was a top ten finalist, and hooray!  It made me very happy. It’s so nice to think that somebody else enjoyed something that I wrote.  Whether or not I place, it’s worth dropping by the OTP site and seeing what they have up.  I was also a mini contest winner a while back, so you can read my tiny little piece there.  I quite enjoyed writing it.

I’m working on a short story right now.  It’s tentatively titled “Iris” and it’s quiet and soft and about the vibrancy of color and healing.  At least, I think it is.  It’s taken a bit of a turn from what I imagined it to be, and when that happens, I just follow the character’s lead.  They know themselves better than I do.

So our writing group met at our usual cafe last night, but were politely ousted at closing time.  (How can that be?!)  So we wandered across the street to finish our discussion.  We concluded that yes, the entire writing group should relocate to Seattle and pool our money for a houseboat.  We’ll start a band (I’ll play piano) and write glorious works of art.  Then I lost my lip gloss under the table and we all dove under there using our cell phones as flashlights in order to find it, which was very professional.  Also professional was the whopping tab of $5.25 for two Diet Cokes, a Dr. Pepper and a water.  I think we were not the server’s dream last night.

I have a piece up at Micro 100.  There are some great pieces by Kurt Newton and Jameson T. Caine, among others.  Some are funny, a few not-so, so be forewarned if you aren’t horror fans.  Mine is…well, whatever it is that I usually write.  Snarky horrorless horror, perhaps?

http://www.micro100.blogspot.com/

 

Pieces out:  44

Goal: 40.  Woo!