My sweet and tiny next door neighbor was mugged last night, less than a block away from our house. She’s pretty bruised and shaken up, but other than that, she isn’t badly physically hurt. All I can think is: less than a block away?! What a jerk. What a coward. She’s probably less than five feet tall. I hope this guy broke his leg when he hopped the fence. I hope the police get him. No, I hope her husband gets him! He terrifies me on the best of days.
In other news, I dyed my friend’s hair black yesterday. It was awesome! I dearly love prettying men up. I can think of nothing finer.
I just worked on my lilting, soul-crushing story. What a surprise it has been! The rather whimsical “Tra la la!” tone has turned itself down a bit, but it’s still full of haberdashery and charm. I’m putting it away for the evening, and I’m feeling good about myself. I’m also thinking about baking cupcakes tomorrow and running them to the neighbors. At a time like this, I think they need to know that there are still good things left in the world.
Three years ago I was bored and dissatisfied with my boring and dissatisfying life, so I took an online writing class from the local college. This, too, was boring and dissatisfying, mainly because the teacher wanted to keep everything rated G (“no violence or language of any kind”) and when she wasn’t telling us to write about wide-eyed kittens romping with balls of yarn, she was pimping out her own books. “Today we’re going to do a happy, fuzzy character sketch. Do you know what will help you with this? My book, How to Sketch Your Own Fuzzy Character, forsalenowinyouruniversitybookstore.”
So the class was a bust, but I picked up one fabulous idea from it. She said that every author needs to take time at least once a week to do something creative that isn’t writing. I think it gets the gears going, but pushes your mind in a different direction. Also, it lets me do fun things under the pretense of “working”. So I make jewelery or work on my (nearly nonexistent) sewing skills. I painted the piano red last year, and now she’s more fun to play.
Today I made a voodoo doll, cut out the pattern for a purple ninja, and made a chocolate cream pie for desert this evening. I love “working”.
Today was a horrible day, full of meanness and ill will. It has damaged my optimistic view of humanity, but surely only for today. Two positive things came from this. The first is that my warm-and-caring-turned-cold-and-biting story can only be strengthened. I don’t think that I can back this one into a corner, so I’ll run with the tone and see what happens. And the second thing is that I sought comfort in the arms of homemade hot chocolate. I made this hot chocolate from scratch, and then topped it with hand-whipped cream and tiny curls of chili chocolate. Chili chocolate is something that my father introduced me to, and although I kicked and screamed at first, it really is delicious. It’s chocolate with a blushing warmth that comes up on your lips afterwards. Fantastic in small doses. And, of course, a strawberry, because I’m mad about them.
So here’s to taking something ugly and finding a way to turn it into a thing of joy.
So I’m supposed to be providing a bio pic for a publication. Sure, I say. No problem. Give me a while so that I can take an updated one, I say. But I forgot one thing: Bio pics suck. A lot. In a world where most people will never meet me face to face, all they’ll know are a few words here and there, and a picture. The less geeky, the better! Which, in my case, is practically impossible. But if I’ve learned one thing, it’s that you can’t do these things alone. No, sir! Thank goodness the friendly neighborhood junior high girls came marching over to my house. They eyed each picture carefully, and declared that this red one should be my blog pic, and narrowed the bio picture down to two. Then I took pictures of them for their Facebook profiles, and we talked about why Nick is cuter than Kevin or whatever, and a good time was had by all.
Three of my poems were accepted for the Terror of the Miskatonic Falls anthology! I’m pretty excited. I think that my poetry is improving a little bit. I’m beginning to find my poetic voice, which is vastly different than my prose voice. It’s a little bit like being schizophrenic. It’s exactly like being a Pisces.
Google history: buffalo bills primm, bioluminescence in fireflies, luciferase, bunyip song, fake name generator, make your own obi
This weekend was full of rollercoasters, Memorial Day sales, and delicious goodness. My family and I enjoyed real quality time, and got to know each other again. We took walks, hung pictures in the living room, and played on the swing set outside. I even submitted a few things. But know what I didn’t do?
Write. And now I’m going to pay.
The Illiterati is going to sink their teeth into my tender skin and drag me off to the wrong side of the interdimensional wormhole tracks tomorrow. And that is going to suuuuuuuuck! Unless I can save myself tonight! I actually attempted two separate stories this weekend, but they failed miserably and I decided to put them on hold. I wanted one to have a light, fanciful tone, and the other to have a sinister, eerie tone, but they switched. So the goodness and light story was deadly somber and my despairing, cautionary tale was all, “Wheeeeee!” Usually I let the stories play themselves out, and most likely that’s what I should have done, but it was a long, holiday weekend. I just tossed my papers up to the sky.
Three years later, and this is still one of my favorite videos ever. It’s so gloriously campy.
I loved last night’s writer’s group meeting! The speaker was Vicki Pettersson, the author of The Signs of the Zodiac Series. She was a fun speaker, both witty and accessible, and I came home feeling inspired. She talked a lot about how writing means hitting your word count, day in and day out. I used to be such a stickler for that, too, but I’ve gone all Attention Deficit lately. I think I’ve been lost in between projects. I’m working on maybe four or five at a time, and I think I should commit to just one or two. I need to figure out exactly when I’m going to A) write and B) run, and then I believe my world will spin smoothly on its axis.
Ahahaha! Like that will ever happen!
Today I’d like to revise my query later using the advice that I received. I’d also like to work on a story that I started…I was going to say, “If I can find the time”, but that just shows how holey my mindset has become lately. Since when have I ever found time for anything? I go out and make it.
I submitted a short story last night, so my submission count is up to 32. I’m sloooooowly getting there. Let’s see what this long weekend can accomplish. Writing, holiday sales, and homemade hot chocolate are also on my list.
It’s not that I’m anti-technology. I’m not even super technology impaired, although mildly. I’m just slow to join the rest of the crowd. I drag my feet, because I like to watch other people, and see what they’re doing, and how it’s going for them. We were the last house on the block to get a Nintendo when it came out. I swore I’d never like DVDs more than VHS. I don’t have a Twitter account. Yet.
And here’s why: I’m lazy! No, that isn’t it, not really. But I am strapped for time. I’m struggling with managing the time that I have, and I’m easily distracted. I used to read blog comments where people said, “And of course I’m reading blogs instead of writing!” I thought, how bizarre! Why read when you could write? Why procrastinate??
And now here I am! I’m trying to do House Things (feed the kids, flag down the school bus, wash marker off of the walls) and Friends/Family Things (phone calls, thank you cards, letters, attending important events) and Writing Things (actual writing times, editing, submitting, querying, keeping track) and, oh yeah, watching Vampire Hunter D here and there. But noooooo, I’m on cakewrecks! Noooooo, I’m reading Pictures For Sad Children and checking my email and Private Messages all of the time! I’ve lost my ability to concentrate. I have the attention span of a gnat.
And now there’s Twitter! I’m torn! One one hand, it’s one more thing to keep up on. On the other, I love writing stories for the Twitterzines, and it would only be fair to, you know, have a Twitter account. And it would be awesome to see what other people are doing…if it doesn’t get annoying. So I guess here are my questions: Twitter? Yay? Nay? For those of you who have it, do you enjoy it? Is it a stress? Is it a marketing tool? Is it another fun thing to do? Do you want to kill people who tweet a bazillion times a day? (I’m going to discretely remove some Facebook friends because of that. Do I care about your personal hygiene? I mean, really?? Update your status once or twice, but MAN, go for a walk, or something!)
Give me info. Give me answers. (Doing my best Cate Blanchett in Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull) “I want to knoooooooow!”
In other news, I was up at 4:30 this morning. (Thanks, kids! Expect retribution.) So I queried on three pieces that have been out forever, and did a little more Duotrope Stalking. Two more magazines had folded, so I’m counting them as rejections. I also submitted a poem called “Resting in your Throated Hollows”, so my submission count is now 31. I’d like to get it up to 40 again, so I’ll give it a good faith effort. Meanwhile, I just got off the phone about doing a presentation at a local library, and tonight I have the city Writer’s Group meeting. I’m excited for that, and especially for the Coke that I intend on consuming. Mmm mmm mmm!
Once my husband and I went a Cirque du Soleil show. There were these evil clowns roaming the audience beforehand, roaring and being generally creepy. I nearly climbed hubby’s body to get away. I made him promise, on our marriage, that he wouldn’t let even get close enough to touch me, or I was going to come undone in a big way. He was very heroic and held the suckers off.
But! Onward! Not all carnivals have clowns!
QueryTracker is turning two years old, and they’re having a bunch of contests! Contests that I want to win. Because I’m competative, mostly, but also because the prizes look pretty sweet. A QT premium membership, a book on online marketing, a query letter critique (heavens knows I’d love that one!) and the grand prize is an author’s website. Rock on! You can find more information at http://querytracker.net/carnival.
Websites have been coming up a lot lately. Should I have one? Does it really matter? Is going to mercedesmyardley.com any different than coming over here to my blog? Will it somehow make me a more legitimate writer?
I dunno, but I stumbled across some author’s sites the other day that were just cool. And I want to get me some of that action. At some time, in the future. I’ll put it on my invisible “to do” list, right behind “parasailing” and in front of “cage diving with great white sharks”. Which would be awesome.
So! I finished that essay, finally! I am free from the chains that have hitherto held me bound. I also finished and submitted three interlocking poems to the “Terror in Miskatonic Falls” anthology, and submitted a literary piece to a contest. I’m feeling pretty fat and sassy at the moment. Oh, and my friend came over and spent the last two hours doing my hair for this thing that I have tonight. She’s starting up a hairstyling business, and I’m going to be her walking billboard. Forget the hair tossed up and held in place with chopsticks; I’m writing this post as a glamazon. Mmm, yes.
In other news, I baked a cake last night and made the mistake of leaving it on the bottom shelf in the fridge. My tiny daughter thought it was fantastic.
So! Come and read my MadLibbed query on Carrie Harris’ blog, and if you feel so inclined, feel free to comment. I’m quite happy with the way she handled it. She was thoughtful, thorough, and it was hilarious. Although I doubt queries will never be “fun” in my book, I’m already seeing vast improvements to my letter. Every little bit of advice helps, so thanks!
It occurs to me that we all have different skills. I’m not the one to call if you want a babysitter or (ahem) a query letter, but if you need to clean up a blood spill, I’m your gal. From, uh, working at the plasma center. I realize that sentence could require some clarification.
My writing goals for today are: finish up my essay for my writer’s group tonight, and hopefully finish and send my poetry submission(s). I also have a new short story idea that came to me while I was folding the laundry. Oh, praise be to mundania, for it allows my mind to wander.
Cryptic, I keep missing you. Tonight’s not the night, but maybe tomorrow around nine or ten?
I am!! Carrie Harris is going to go all ninja on my query letter tomorrow. She’s setting up Da Rulz tonight, so drop by and give them a read, if you so desire.
This? Is a little bit scary, because nobody likes to hear what they’re doing wrong. But remember my New Year’s Resolution? I’m doing things that scare me. I ran this letter past a dozen people, easy, and it still needs some help. So why shouldn’t we all get some enjoyment out of it?
Right?!
Things in my Google History: stargirl by jerry spinelli, jesus christ superstar soundtrack, vintage apron patterns, counting bodies like sheep, wonderfalls, miskatonic
