The Gauntlet, My Dears, Was Thrown. (Wild Laughter)

I received the best phone call yesterday from my friend Robert Duperre. Robby D. started the phone call with wild laughter and the words, “I challenge you!” This, naturally, caught my attention.

Robby D. proposes this: we’ll both finish our novels by April 1st. He has 75,000 words to rewrite and about 25,000 new words to write. I have about 45,000 words to rewrite and 35,000 new words to write, not to mention two short stories and an essay to submit in the next four weeks. This makes us fair, methinks.

Oh, but it gets better. “There has to be a price!” Robby D. hissed. “There has to be a consequence!” He came prepared with one. And it’s terrible. I refuse to lose simply because there ain’t no way I’m doing this!

The loser has to sing two minutes of what could possibly be the worst song ever, Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” while accompanied by our significant other on bongos. This will be recorded and ran on the winner’s blog.

“What if we both complete it?” I say. Because I’m no quitter, and neither is Robby D. In fact, if there’s a person alive who can possibly out-write me, it’s him.

“Then we both have to do it.”

So there you go. April 1st. And when I win, I hope that Robby D. glues sparkles to his body a la Britney as he performs. That would be awesome.