The Gauntlet, My Dears, Was Thrown. (Wild Laughter)

I received the best phone call yesterday from my friend Robert Duperre. Robby D. started the phone call with wild laughter and the words, “I challenge you!” This, naturally, caught my attention.

Robby D. proposes this: we’ll both finish our novels by April 1st. He has 75,000 words to rewrite and about 25,000 new words to write. I have about 45,000 words to rewrite and 35,000 new words to write, not to mention two short stories and an essay to submit in the next four weeks. This makes us fair, methinks.

Oh, but it gets better. “There has to be a price!” Robby D. hissed. “There has to be a consequence!” He came prepared with one. And it’s terrible. I refuse to lose simply because there ain’t no way I’m doing this!

The loser has to sing two minutes of what could possibly be the worst song ever, Britney Spears’ “Womanizer” while accompanied by our significant other on bongos. This will be recorded and ran on the winner’s blog.

“What if we both complete it?” I say. Because I’m no quitter, and neither is Robby D. In fact, if there’s a person alive who can possibly out-write me, it’s him.

“Then we both have to do it.”

So there you go. April 1st. And when I win, I hope that Robby D. glues sparkles to his body a la Britney as he performs. That would be awesome.

Wombats Will Rule The Wooooooorld!

See that pair of man feet in the header?  That’s my friend Mason.  By now, if you read this rather hysterical post that he wrote, you know that he and I entered a flash fiction contest for the Las Vegas Book Festival.  We talked smack, swaggered around, and totally vowed to out-write each other.  So what happens?  We tied for second place, and that just ROCKS. 

Tomorrow Mason, Kurt (the first place winner), and I are reading our winning pieces at the historic Fifth Street school in downtown Las Vegas.  Pretty cool, yeah?  And do you want to know what we’re reading?  Well, you can!  You can see our stories RIGHT HERE.

The theme was “Las Vegas: City of Second Chances” and we had a short time limit in which to write our pieces.  So what do you think came right to my mind?  That’s right: a Stilettos and Shirley Temples episode.  Thanks for the inspiration, Simon!

Have a great day, everybody!  And onward with NaNoWriMo!

Writing You On The Sly

Guess what?  I’m actually posting this blog while in the middle of a writing contest!  That’s right; I’m writing you surreptitiously!  I am one of about 20 contestants participating in the Las Vegas Book Festival Flash Fiction Contest.  We were given 90 minutes to write a story based on a Super Sekrit prompt that was given to us right when it was time to start.  The theme?  Las Vegas: City of Second Chances.  So what did I do? I pretty much wrote a Stilettos and Shirley Temples installment where I gave up the life. Ha, like that would ever happen!  I finished early and now I’m typing one-handed because I’m holding Mason and billie the girl’s super cute, 2 1/2 week old baby while they finish their stories.  I LOVE life, sometimes!

I’ll let you know how the contest ends up.  We won’t find out for at least a week, so I hear.  But Mason and I are going to have a dance-off in the parking lot JUST BEAUSE WE CAN.

Shock Totem’s First Writing Contest!


So Shock Totem is having it’s first writing contest, and I’m in charge. Bwa ha ha ha! Here are the official rules:

The Official Shock Totem Flash Contest Rules

Hey cats. We’re kicking off our first Shock Totem Writing Contest. It’s going to be a monthly thing, and here are the official rules.

1.  The stories will be posted on the hidden forum. This allows all authors to keep first print publishing rights. Let Ken know that you would like access to this forum. Either PM Kenwood or leave him a message on this thread.

2.  The contest will last one week. The prompt will be posted and we will write and post our stories to the forum before the week is up.

3.  The word count for all stories is 1,000 words or less.

4.  Each contestant will get a vote. After all stories are posted, everybody will post a message saying which story they liked the best. Also, a brief critique of the stories would be appreciated.

5.  I’ll tally the votes and the first place winner gets a super special awesome prize! And, finally, the coup de grace:

6.  The first four or five winners will go head to head for a slot in Shock Totem Magazine. Rock on.

The first prompt will go up on Saturday, January 23. The contest will run until Saturday, January 30.

The Four Horsemen Of The Apocalypse Go Head To Head

See this pretty girl?  Her name is Harley, but we call her War.  I’m going to kick her butt, and then she’s going to wear stripper shoes and sing Rent’s “Out Tonight.”  I’ll post it here on my blog.  You’re welcome. Follow her on Twitter.  She says delightfully salacious things and we snicker a lot. I absolutely adore this beauty.

See this pretty boy?  His name is Don, but we call him Famine.  He is going to sing “Everything’s Alright” from Jesus Christ Superstar, complete with Jazz Hands.  He, too, will posted on my blog.  Follow him on Twitter. He’s friendly but he’ll also smack you with a wooden sword as soon as look at you.

See this other pretty boy? His name is Jason, but we call him Pestilence.  I’m going to kick his butt and he’ll sing…oh, I don’t know.  Something from the Magnetic Fields, and I’ll post it on my blog. Follow him on Twitter. He says the most calmly beautiful things. Sometimes his words make my heart hurt in a good way.

I am Mercedes, but they call me Death.  And I instigated another challenge.  (Yeah, yeah, I still need to sing a song about how awesome K.M. Walton is. This month, hopefully!) But that has nothing to do with this particular challenge. Which I shall win!  Go Team Mercedes!! Woo!

The challenge? We’ll each be writing a story based on the theme “The first contact of two species with a mutual attraction betwixt them.” The theme was dreamed up by Boudreau Freret, a delightful member of the Twitterverse who volunteered to help us.  We’ll write our stories and on February 1st, we’ll send them out to SFWA approved markets. The first one published is declared the winner, and the other three horsemen have to video their musical numbers, which will then run on the winner’s blog.  Sweet sweet sweet, I tell you. 

I certainly hope that I’m not one of the singers.

You know what would be extra sweet?  If my story has a horror slant and pushes me closer to the HWA challenge.  Ho, ho, Matt Betts, I still have my eye on you! 

Anybody interested in a future challenge, hmm?  😉

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So I Won Some Chocolate!

And I cannot tell you how excited I am! The very charming Eisley Jacobs ran a contest on her blog, and there are some really sweet and heartwarming comments on there. You can check it out here.

Also, once upon a time Kurt Newton and I had a writing challenge going on, and I emerged the victor. As a consequence, he graciously agreed to guest blog over here on A Broken Laptop.  He wrote a fantastic essay, and I’ll run it on Monday. Believe me, it’s something to look forward to.

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